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The Video Dead

A True Achievement in Ineptitude

1987

Director: Robert Scott

Starring: Rocky Duvall, Roxanna Augensen, Sam David McClelland

Yes.

THE SETUP:

Zombies come out of a TV, and do what zombies do… in addition to ballroom dancing.

DISCUSSION:

WHERE to begin with this one? There is just so much ineptitude on display here it truly transcends. It's not so much that the movie is bad, as just how utterly bizarre it is.

Here’s the plot: zombies come out of a TV FOR NO REASON. They never even bother to give an explanation. The zombies also don't want to eat people, they just want to kill them.

Since there is no point in detailing this films' weaknesses, I think I'll just detail a few of my favorite touches. There may be SPOILERS AHEAD, though I assure you that nothing could really spoil this movie.

• I think my favorite moment of all is when the creepy loon who comes to warn the dopey teens about the zombies takes the kid out to hunt them [wherein they pass within 20 feet of one without seeing it], and the kid shoots one. Then follows an inspirational, self-esteem boosting "Karate Kid" moment in which the kid says "I got one! I really got one!"
• They then proceed to argue about which one of them is going to get to carve the zombie up with a chainsaw. The kid gets the honors (it's really about learning and becoming a man, see!) and chops the thing in two, blood and guts flying, to find that there are live rats living in the zombie.
• Later they HANG the kid as bait in the woods just above zombie level. Then OF COURSE the creepy loon falls asleep, leaving the boy to be nearly ravaged.
• Question: How did that zombie get in the washing machine?
• The film has some "nice" touches; I think the zombies redoing things from their past lives (as well as the bride zombie) are homages to the Romero movies, and then, soon after the kid says he's a huge fan of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, he is chased by a chainsaw-wielding zombie in an obvious homage to that movie. Awwww.
• Question: Uh, isn't it a PROBLEM when the zombie walks off with your only chainsaw?
• At the end we are treated to the bizarre spectacle of a woman making dinner (that is, two huge cans of premade Chili... yummmm!) and having a nice dinner party with the zombies.

Rent this one if you're ready to leave your jaw on the floor at its awe-inspiring stupidity and ineptitude.

SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?

Yes, with booze, friends, and no expectations.