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Why Bad Movies?
May 2005
Because serious movies suck
So you’re sitting there watching Mystic River, and you’re thinking:
a) This is a rare and touching glimpse into the endless human drama that puts me more in touch with being alive.
b) This is boring and banal, but what more can I expect from life? All movies suck nowadays.
c) WHEN is a genetically-engineered race of super-gerbils gonna make cedar shavings out of these motherfuckers!?!
If you answered B, you are ready to embrace bad movies [if you answered C, you’re already there]. Current movies have been test-marketed beyond the point of holding the slightest bit of interest to anyone who has graduated from High School. They are created for Ritalin-popping 13-year-olds and those for whom a day at the mall is a good day. Even the “good” movies aren’t telling you anything a Jane Austen novel won’t. Ask John Kerry how much America appreciates “nuance.” Current movies have nothing to offer anyone that isn’t banal or simply louder and flashier than what came before. And one of the only ways to regain that genuine moviewatching excitement is to find gems amongst the discarded detritus of our cinematic history.
For more on this, see Current Movies Are Shit.
Because of the special humor of seeing intentions go so wrong
One of the primary joys of watching bad movies is that mouth-agape feeling of watching something so terribly wrong and thinking, “How did ANYONE involved in the making of this movie think this was a good idea?” Which is a much more involved, alive and happy experience than the bitter and used feeling of sitting there in the theater, watching the remake of The Amityville Horror that has no texture or atmosphere because research indicates that the 14-25 demographic likes to jump every 3 minutes. The difference is between a film whose badness reveals the traces of a human individuality, and a “good” film that is banal and safe enough to make it through the various winnowing processes that will get it into a theater.
Because of the possibility of seeing something genuinely strange
Bad movies are often low-budget and second-rate. They are often considered bad because they are offensive or bizarre. They are often made by strange people with strange obsessions. And ALL of these factors lend to the result that very often in bad movies you will see something genuinely strange. One example is the giant boner the creepy redneck is sporting the first time we see him in The Sadist. Or the bizarre lesbian initiation ritual in Invasion of the Bee Girls. Or the moving nature footage of a monkey calmly trying to figure out why he can’t move his head [because it’s clamped in an anaconda’s mouth] in Slave of the Cannibal God. The possibility of seeing something truly weird is much more promising than the assurance of seeing the exact same ‘epic battle,’ or ‘romantic declaration’ or ‘terrifying chase’ or ‘shocking plot twist’ or 'touching human drama' we’ve seen five hundred times. As a corollary, bad movies are appealing…
Because of the possibility of seeing scenes respectable movies are too normal to touch.
The very uniqueness of certain scenes [or whole plots] in movies puts them out of the mainstream, meaning that you have to venture outside of the mainstream to see these topics covered—at all. Take the example of The Killing Kind, which examines the masochistic impulses of women somewhat attracted to a known rapist—not to mention the bizarre semi-incestuous relationship he shares with his mother. Or Cannibal Apocalypse, which features a thrilling sequence in which a Vietnam vet who has snapped has a stakeout in an empty resale store. Or Amityville II, which contains truly shocking scenes of child abuse and incest. Not that this stuff is so great in itself, it’s just that more popular or “better” movies are so scrubbed and sanitized of non-acceptable content that it’s interesting to see some subject matter you just don’t see that often.
Because they haven’t been seen by 100 million people
When you see Titanic or The Godfather, yeah, they’re good, but their very popularity kinds of weighs against their interest. For instance, I worship Singin’ In the Rain, but I have nothing to say or think about it that hasn’t been said or thought a thousand times before. Not that classics or more popular movies should be avoided for this reason, but bad movies offer a particular pleasure in that because they are less popular, it is possible to experience many of them for the first time, without prior knowledge of anyone else’s opinion, and thus to have your own thoughts and reactions to them. And to tell others about them. Not to mention the fun and surprise of meeting someone who HAS seen the same movie you have, and discussing it with them.
Because they bring joy
There’s a particular kind of pleasure to be had in bad movies, usually in the amusing frisson that the director, writers, and actors of what you’re watching have no idea how dumb or tacky it is. Or that they do know, and are embarrassed. So the delight you can get from watching each fresh horror unfold as the actors parade on obliviously can be a lot more fun [and more active on the viewer’s part] than being led along a journey by someone else. Especially as, more and more, the films that reach distribution-level are not journeys worth taking.
I’m certainly not saying anyone should give up good movies completely, I’m just saying it can be rewarding to be a little more selective in one’s choice of quality movies, and fill the space that opens up with specially-ripened selections of cinematic cheese.
