|
|
Real Genius
Do brilliant scientists really party to Don Henley?
1985
Review: April 20, 2006
Director: Martha Coolidge
Starring: Val Kilmer, Gabriel Jarret, Michelle Meyrink, William Atherton, Robert Prescott
Probably best.
THE SETUP:
A bunch of college-age scientists are working on a giant laser—but they have NO IDEA it was going to be used as a weapon!
DISCUSSION:
The same friend who lent me the delightful Weird Science lent me this one, and I kept hearing how funny it was. And, since at the time it came out I considered myself WAYYY too sophisticated for Weird Science, yet LOVED IT when I watched it recently, I thought that this one would be a similar gem. I think you can tell where this is going.
This is directed by Martha Coolidge, who did Valley Girl, and went on to do the lovely Rambling Rose, leading me to “follow” her career for a while, until I realized that she was going to go ahead and make things like Lost in Yonkers. The cinematography is by the legendary Vilmos Zsigmond.
We begin with a curious credit sequence that shows a history of weaponry while someone sings “You took advantage of me.” Then, to space. In a scene strikingly similar to one at the finale of Syriana [making this film sooo prescient], a laser from space zaps a single guy [I mean one guy, I have no idea of his romantic status] and vaporizes him. God, don’t you sometimes wish you could vaporize people? Anyway, this is revealed to be a government infomercial sans Linda Evans to showcase an merging technology which, in typical government fashion, is being sold before it even exists. We’ll find this all out later, but I’ll lay it on you now: at the bottom of the chain are the brightest college-age students in the country, who are actually working out how to build the thing, unaware that they are being used.
So, to the college students. We have an uptight avatar student who is new to the college, and he seems to be rooming with Val Kilmer, looking like the lead singer of A-Ha in their heyday, and acting so rude an arrogant I wondered if he partly inspired the character of Tyler Durden from Fight Club. They are routinely annoyed by Kent, the big-glasses wearing, blond blow-waved guy with a whiny, bitchy voice who we are never explicitly TOLD is gay, but functions as the honorary fag and as such is a constant annoyance and target for the other guys. We are supposed to sympathize with the guys about how bitchy, annoying, and deserving of punishment fags can be. Hey, thanks Martha. But you know what, Martha, I still support women. You can make homophobic fare, but I still support women. Okay, Martha? Great.
A great deal of college wackiness occurs, including the making of an ice rink on the dorm floors [a great deal of speculative science also occurs]. Then Michelle Myerlinck shows up as the hilarious Jordan, who is highly quirky to say the least. There are a good number of 80s songs that are pleasantly allowed to run almost their full course, and some college parties at which the young geniuses listen to Don Henley’s “All She Wants To Do is Dance” [the poor film does not understand that anyone liking that song is the ESSENCE of white trash], as well as Bryan Adam’s “One Night Love Affair.” I had no idea that brilliant young scientists had such shitty taste in music. The smart people I knew at college listened to Bach or jazz. But no matter. Kent the evil fag tells on our heroes, saying "they're having a party. With GIRLS."
So anyway, it seems that there is a cascading line of responsibility for creating this laser-thing, and just above the college kids is their professor Jarnell, who says “What is that? Is that popcorn? Get it away from me. I hate popcorn. I can’t stand popcorn.” He is being pressured from above, and he in turn pressures the kids to complete the laser-thing, which they work on, at one point being thwarted by the evil, sniveling Kent.
Then they discover that there is a giant secret government lab right beneath the college, and to their astonishment these brilliant fucking genius scientists discover that the super-powered LASER they’re working on is going to be used as a weapon. What did they think they were making? A thing that can open a can… from space? A microwave that can heat popcorn from great distances? Well actually, I was kidding about that last one, but… Anyway, so the kids decide they need to stop the evil plan. And they do. The end.
It’s all very goofy with a few sidelines of serious satire in between. It was funny, I guess I just didn’t think it was THAT funny. It also has a much more serious tone than I expected, and one that seemed to clash with the goofy tone of the other half. So overall, a big ‘eh.’ It could have been worse, I guess I was just expecting more. A lot of people LOVE it, so take that under advisement.
SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?
If you’re into that sort of thing. A lot of people adore this movie.
