|
|
Flyboys
Those dreary young men and their flying machines
2006
Review: September 27, 2006
Director: Tony Bill
Starring: James Franco, Jean Reno, Martin Henderson, Augustin Legrand
Sounds like a great idea.
THE SETUP:
Americans have a bunch of dogfights in France during the first World War.
DISCUSSION:
There is a certain segment of the population that feels like seeing a big schmaltzy war movie every now and then, and I seem to be a member of that segment. This one seemed to be as brain-free as any of them, but also promised fun aerial dogfights, and… well, fun aerial dogfights.
We begin in 1916, and for some reason France is training Americans to fly the newly-invented airplane on missions for them. Why they can’t train Frenchmen is unclear to me. James Franco plays Blaine Rawlings, who beat up some guy and so thinks it might be a great idea to decamp to a war in a foreign country. This is a little bit like the remake of Rollerball, in which the reason Chris Klein goes to Romania to play rollerball is that he faces a $75 ticket for illegal skateboarding. Hmmm, I broke my mom’s vase. Well, maybe I’ll just ship off to Iraq.
Once in France we meet the other stock characters, the black guy, the fat rich kid, the obnoxious one with giant teeth that prevent him from closing his mouth, and the experienced pilot who is a total tool to them all for no reason other than so he can drop this attitude later when they “earn his respect.” Also on hand is Jean Reno, reminding us that he can actually be quite charismatic when compared to young blanks, and Augustin Legrand from Tzameti, whose imperious, semi-hateful-yet-provocative stare is making me want to LUUUUVE him.
So they learn to fly… and to love. After Mr. Buck-Toothed crashes a plane, he and Franco wake up in the world’s cleanest whorehouse, populated by the world’s freshest, dewiest prostitutes. Franco sees a woman he’s really into, and has a few days to get excited imagining that she’s a whore, then is even more excited to find out that actually, she’s not. And of course, where you find a bunch of guys in a macho profession you’ll also find trace amounts of homophobia, noted when one character tells another to “wear anything but pink, or you’ll embarrass the whole espadrille.” Also on hand is one of those black people of the movies who seem to do nothing in life but experience racism. He enlisted in the flight service because “as long as I’m in the air they can’t see me. Maybe they won’t mind that I’m black.” Needless to say, our heroes soon overcome their initial preconceptions and learn to see their flying brothers as PEOPLE, and share their expensive cognac by the fireplace.
Franco, smitten with the woman he thought was a prostitute, tries everything he can to romance her, short of learning a word of French, and takes her for a ride in his airplane, during which it starts to rain. It may seem romantic, but anyone who’s ridden a motorcycle knows that having raindrops propelled at your face at speeds exceeding 90 MPH is somewhat less than enchanting. Perhaps she was in it for the exfoliation.
Then there are the numerous dogfights, the real reason to see the movie. They are accomplished by models and what the New York Times calls “frenzies of CGI,” and look great, yet are somehow fairly dull. I blame the score, which just pump out triumphant themes rather than giving energy to the sequences. During this time we learn about the “black falcon,” which is SO like the Red Baron Snoopy was always after, who is like really mean and serves a the nemesis of Martin Henderson’s character, the squad leader [or whatever] that is a dick to all the new recruits until they earn his respect. The one moment of the film I really liked is when we see the Black Falcon circling in the air, and a sheen of reflected sunlight passes across its wings, conveying a special kind of menace. Of course, one cannot tell if this was intended.
During the romance sequences we also get a lot of time in provincial France, leading me to wish I had a fast-forward button, and my friend, a lover of Foie Gras, to lean over and say “I want to see someone force-feed a goose.” We also see the nefarious German’s bombing a migrating group of defenseless old ladies, lest we begin to have sympathies for their side.
SPOILERS > > > There is a subplot with Mr. Big Teeth wherein it is suspected that he is a spy. Throughout the movie he has been wholly unable to hit a target, and eschews any advice given to him in this regard. Under inquest, it is learned that he ran away from America after being convicted as a thief. He is soon after shot down and pinned, which necessitates that his hand be chopped off—the traditional punishment for thieves. Once his secret is in the open, and he has lost his hand in punishment, he is now able to hit the targets he shoots at.
So they really want to get the elusive Black Falcon. I leaned over to my friend and said “Okay, the black plane is going to shoot down the squad leader [Henderson], then Franco is going to shoot the black plane in revenge.” It proceeds thus, but with a twist: the Black Falcon destroys Franco’s gun, leading my friend to lean over and say “They’re going to get next to each other and Franco is going to shoot the guy with a handgun,” which is exactly what happens, ace shot Franco planting one right in the villain’s eye—after they have exchanged many a charged, smirking glance.
We find out that Franco and the French woman [who was forced to learn English to communicate—Americans in movies do NOT learn foreign languages, and hello, if those stinky old languages were any good, then hello, why are they foreign?] did not ever meet again in Paris [this, like basically every other movie, is “based on THE true story”]. Part of the reason for this is that they never made any plan. One of them says “How will I find you?” and the other just kind of changes the subject. They could, you know, agree to go to the Eiffel Tower every day at noon or whatever, but if you [the screenwriter] can’t think of anything, when why bring it up? Maybe she wanted to get rid of Franco. I guess it’s more honest than giving out a fake phone number or whatever.
< < < SPOILERS END
I could have lived without it. It was inoffensive, but not inoffensive fun, as I had hoped. This could have been entirely remedied by making the dogfights more exciting and cutting down on the character crap. You know that 50-movies-for-$20 set I got? This is totally going to be on one of those in 30 years.
SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?
You know what you’re getting into, but still, I wouldn’t bother.
