Dracula AD 1972

Raising the devil? It could be a giggle!

1972

Review: July 15, 2008

Director: Alan Gibson

Starring: Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Stephanie Beacham, Christopher Neame

Sure!

THE SETUP:

Dracula is resurrected by a bunch of thrill-seeking 70s swingers.

DISCUSSION:

So I was watching Fame, and it showed one scene in the Times Square of 1980, where there was a big poster for the 1979 Dracula—the one where the poster shows a woman’s boobs as bigger than Dracula’s head—and I thought: “I MUST see that NOW!” And upon looking for it I unearthed Love at First Bite [a favorite of my adolescence] and THIS, which I didn’t even know existed, but obviously had to witness IMMEDIATELY, as quick glance through the reviews on the IMDb make it out to be the Beyond the Valley of the Dolls of the vampire genre.

We open in 1872, with Dracula and Van Helsing fighting on top of a rushing carriage. It looks pretty bright outside to me, but I guess Dracula applied his sunscreen. They carriage crashes, leaving Van Helsing dying, and Dracula with the wooden spokes of the carriage wheel through the heart. Dang all the luck! Then there is a long [i.e. LONG] sequence as Dracula turns to dust. It’s kind of nice.

NOW comes something that I totally dug, which is the transition to 1972. We have the funeral of Van Helsing, and then the camera pans up to the sky, where suddenly—along with this awesome swingin’ 70s music—appears a JET! The title is transposed over this. Score! We then find out from the credits that we are to be treated to the work of a new band, Stonebridge, performing their hits “Alligator Man” and “You Better Come Through.”

We need not wait but a moment beyond the credits for Stonebridge to appear, as we open at a swingin’ London party, which is more like a late 60s party, and something like you might see in an Austin Powers movie—or Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. There are many sights to behold. It turns out that these swingers have invaded the stuffy house and party of these uptight London folks in black tie, who stand around looking appalled. Stonebridge, it must be revealed, pretty much suck—even by early 70s standards—and one is soon thankful that their two songs come up front and we never hear from them again. The swingers take bets on how long it will take the police to get there, and their goal is to stay at the party as long as they possibly can without getting caught. Hey, who knows what goes on in the mind of the early 70s London swinger.

So they all go and convene at some nightclub, where Johnny, the villain of this film, says he wants to find some new sensation “New, yet as old as time.” Also present is Jess, this vacuous blonde with a hairdo that we will be coming back to describe, Sapphire, a giant-haired black woman, and another girl, Laura, and two other guys, all pretty generic. Johnny talks about raising the devil or some suitable demon, but Jess is reluctant. Then one of the girls says my favorite line when related to raising the devil: “C’mon Jess, it could be a giggle!” Unbeknownst to them, however, Johnny has somehow procured Dracula’s secret decoder ring and a vial of his ashes.

Well, wouldn’t you know, Jess’ Grandfather, whom she lives with, is Peter Cushing, who is the son of Van Helsing! She leaves for the evening, and soon finds herself at the grave of her great-grandfather, which freaks her out, especially since it’s 100 years to the day since his death! This is at some big broken-down Gothic church or whatnot, where Dracula is still chillin’ in the graveyard, stake still stuck right in his heart. They have this wild invocation, accompanied by a reel-to-reel tape of jungle drums, all of which I summed up in my notes as “unbelievable.” I do remember distinctly, in settling on that word, the fact that there was simply so much to describe that the task become impossible. Trust me, you won’t be bored at that part. So Johnny calls on Jess, who it seems he has sort of a thing for, but Laura jumps up at the crucial moment and says “No! Take ME!” I think we have all encountered people like that in bars and suchlike. The ceremony goes on, but everyone gets totally wigged when Johnny, who has added Dracula dust to this chalice of blood—sort of like those Crystal Light on-the-go things—pours the whole thing on Laura’s neck, which is so, like, ewww. They all run out, while Johnny stays behind, takes the stake out of old Drac, and resurrects the fellow. Johnny says “Master, I have summoned you!” to which Dracula replies “It was MY will.” Okay, SO like my Dad.

SPOILERS > > > So a few days pass and no one has heard from Laura, who, as you might guess, comprised Dracula’s first snack back on this plane. A few nights later Jess and company are still all wigged out, but Johnny tells them it was just stage blood and Laura is fine and reposing languidly somewhere else. Johnny makes a play for Jess, but her boyfriend saves her.

Okay, I have at last worked up the mental composure to discuss Jess’ hair. Okay, imagine this round Florence Henderson spherical kind of thing on top, okay, BUT, then ADD to that these tendrils of blonde hair that come straight down to her shoulders, making her look like some form of jellyfish, or Billy Ray Cyrus’ natural bride. Anyway, she’s on her way home when Gramps Peter Cushing gets to throw a huge dramatic scene in two parts: 1) This latest rash of murders might be vampires! And 2) Somehow, Jess might be involved! You of course know that Cushing played the quite gaunt dude who blew up Princess Leia’s planet in Star Wars, and here you really appreciate his skill at breathing seriousness into this obvious claptrap. Then Jess shows up in this hideous, bizarre, and hideously bizarre powder blue milkmaid outfit [below] that I can only describe as something ABBA might wear when performing a song about Swedish farm life. Jess does not make much of a case for her own intelligence when the police are asking where she’s been and she replies “Oh, you know, about,” as though she was on drugs and seriously cannot remember. In here is mentioned something or someone [I was tired, okay?] as Alucard, which is Dracula spelled backwards… which gives me a whole new way of looking at the movie Alucarda. By the way, it seems that Jess has some sort of psychic connection with her friends, as we see her bolt up screaming in bed when one of her group is killed.

Meanwhile Johnny is begging old Drac to give him “the power.” Then for some reason we cut to this burnout in a Laundromat [see below], amazing, then Cushing approaches the police with the idea that they may have a vampire on their hands. This movie introduces the idea—which I have never, ever heard before—that a vampire can be killed by placing him under running water. Huh? You can’t just make things like that up to suit your movie—or I guess you can, since they do. Anyway, one stares on in amazement and admiration that Cushing is able to approach all this stuff with such seriousness. That’s acting, folks.

Meanwhile, Jess gets kidnapped by two vampires, one of whom is Johnny. Cushing runs around, realizes Jess is gone, then runs around some more. There’s this whole undercurrent about how he sits around doing absolutely nothing until he has conclusive proof that there’s a vampire. Uh, you could be sharpening your stakes or something. You also have to wonder where Cushing got all his vampire-slaying tools and skills, if it was his grandfather, not him, who took the big guy on. Regardless, he mixes it up with Johnny [somehow walking around in plain daylight], and uses the old running water trick on him—the shower. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a fearsome vampire is no match for the modern bathroom.

So finally Dracula and Van Helsing go at it, and I wouldn’t dare reveal who wins, but I will tell you that there is hilarious “groovy” 70s music playing throughout.
< < < SPOILERS END

Yeah, it was fine. I guess I sort of thought it would be more of a hoot, given the amount of quotes from this movie in the various reviews of IMDb. But it’s definitely amusing and serious enough to keep one interested. One admires the professional acting of Lee and Cushing, who give their all despite the absolute, objective stupidity of what is happening around them, and the whole thing is kind of fun and doesn’t last much longer than 90 minutes. The trailer, included on the disc, is INSANE and is not to be missed.

SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?

Sure, especially if you like Hammer films and love groovy early 70s swingin’ London.