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Best of 2005: Movies
December 2005
It was only a month or two ago that it suddenly hit me… now that I have a site, I can have my own ‘Best of 2005’ list! And more people than just my circle of close friends will read it! And I can act as that my opinion has some value, or is like, you know, informed.
Anyway, here ya go. These are in no particular order. Movies from 2005 I haven’t seen yet may be added later, if they’re any good. Also look at the Best Videos I Watched in 2005.
Movies
Alone in the Dark
This film will always have a special place in my heart, as my viewing of it marked the first gala event in my Take a Bottle of Vodka to the Movies outreach program [a smashing success], and it was also during this movie that I conceived of creating this site. Uwe Boll inspired me to reach inside and find the best in myself! Anyway, the movie is garbage, utterly incomprehensible, but it’s got killer alien creatures and Tara Reid desperately trying to a) act, and b) act intelligent, so that’s entertainment value enough. Let’s be clear: this movie is SHIT, I just found it enjoyable. Uwe unleashes yet ANOTHER video game inspired movie on us in January with Bloodrayne, already reputed to be another disaster. If you ever see an interview with him, read it, as dude thinks he’s an utter genius and often scathingly derides obviously better movies. I love you, Uwe.
The Dying Gaul
Maybe not the most enjoyable movie, and perhaps ultimately not the most successful, but it is very complex and ambitious, and that wins big points with me. Spinning a very ambiguous moral situation between a husband, wife, and gay screenwriter working for the husband, this film traces fascinating intersections between these characters and their desires, heading off in a quite unexpected direction at the end. It has deeply, unapologetically flawed characters acting out of their worst impulses, all wrapped in a story with depth and subtext and psychological resonance. The more I think about it, this may be my movie of the year.
The Constant Gardener
A very affecting movie that expertly makes the personal and political one, this movie traces the emergence a man’s will to fight for himself and what he believes in, brought out by seeking justice for his wife’s murder. Great performances by Rachel Weisz and especially Ralph Fiennes, wonderful direction by Fernando Meirelles, a tight, clever story and a good script all combine to make this one really work. If you are avoiding this because you think it might be too political, have no fear. Put this on your Netflix list now.
Capote
Bennett Miller’s direction and Dan Futterman’s script lay the foundation for greatness in this biography of Truman Capote. What’s surprising is how completely negative the film is about its main character… the real point of the film is what a narcissistic jerk Capote is, and how that damaged himself and the people around him. You’ve heard all the accolades on Philip Seymour Hoffman’s performance, and he deserves them, but to me the real revelation was the wonderfully intelligent and sensitive portrayal of novelist Harper Lee by Catherine Keener. This, along with Dying Gaul [and I assume Brokeback Mountain] make 2005 a banner year for intelligent gay films that have more to say than “Prejudice is, like, really wrong!”
The Century of the Self
This four-hour BBC documentary traces the psychological basis of advertising from the 20’s through today. It tells of how Freud’s nephew applied Freud’s theories to the field of advertising, moving ads away from the objective merits of products and toward the intangible emotions they can make you feel and “what they say about you.” The doc shows how this transformed advertising, society, psychology, and politics, and essentially resulted in why the world is as it is today. All that in four interesting hours! British television really is different.
War of the Worlds [2005]
I knew this movie would rock, I had no idea that it would actually be GOOD. This coherent and moving film response to 9/11 could only make it through our supercharged ideological atmosphere disguised as a stupid alien blockbuster, and it succeeds wildly: it has obvious 9/11 imagery and moral quandaries, is also a great straight-ahead blockbuster, and is genuinely overwhelming and powerful. As far as I’m concerned, the majority of the film is so traumatic that Spielberg can have any ending he wants.
Pulse
This unnerving Japanese horror film conceives of loneliness and social isolation as a virus that literally turns people into ghosts. This film has all the creeps and unusual shocks we’ve come to expect from Japanese horror, but what sets it apart is the way these are tied into the state of society, as well as the wholly unexpected direction it takes at the very end. There’s going to be an American remake early in 2006, and, judging from the trailer, it’s going to take all the elements here and make them 100X more obvious. That should be good fun for people who have seen this version, and the DVD comes out in January, so get on the stick.
King Kong [2005]
Justifying its existence in every possible way through the never-before-possible expressiveness of Kong, this film succeeds wildly in fleshing-out and expanding every aspect of the original, without rendering it in any way invalid. The ability to have a fully-formed relationship between Ann Darrow and Kong is what sets this movie apart, in addition to just being a spectacular adventure with a “wow” factor not seen since Jurassic Park.
A Sound of Thunder
Another outwardly terrible movie, this film pretty much sucks, but I LOVED it. Based on a a sci-fi mindfuck story by Ray Bradbury, this film follows a group of hunters who go back in time and accidentally change something, altering their future to something with giant killer animals in it. And really, how can you go wrong with giant killer animals? And time travel? This movie is inept in every sense, but it has a great story and is just bad enough and just fun enough to be a total blast.
Movies I despise [that I saw]:
High Tension
Penis envy takes a murderous turn in this ugly and offensive lesbian horror film.
The Island
I didn’t think anything could ruin the fun of a dystopian sci-fi clone escape movie, but relentless product placement, repulsive sexism, and a general frat-boy mentality basically killed off any enjoyment this film could offer.
Miss Congeniality 2
WHAT is it about Sandra Bullock that makes her choose the absolute worst movies? And WHY is she so charming one is compelled to see them? And what would happen if she were able to channel that charm into a decent movie?
Madagascar
Mega-underperforming when you have a lot of potential can turn simple lack of enjoyment into active hate, and that’s the case here. Choosing the most clichéd and banal dialogue and situations at every turn, this film substitutes tourist New York clichés in place of any real texture of the city. Also contrast just how very packed with promotional gift ideas and generally MEAN-SPIRITED the cartoon before Wallace & Gromit was with how genuinely warm and clever Wallace & Gromit itself was. Grrrrr, I hate Madagascar.
Pretty Persuasion
Another case of hate arising from vastly unrealized potential, this satire starts out focused, but just keeps getting broader and broader, until you realize that the writer and director have no statement to make other than that American society is really, like, totally fucked. It also goes from gleefully mean-spirited to genuinely mean-spirited and never comes back.
Thumbsucker
How many more quirky suburban coming-of-age movies can the marketplace withstand? Plenty it seems, as they just keep shooting out at a regular pace. If you’ve seen any of the others, you can safely skip this one, though if you’ve seen the others, YOU are the target market. I literally had the impulse to scream during the last 30 minutes of this film. And they say the U.S. does not condone torture.
Movies I despise [that I didn’t see]:
I can be more objective that way.
Racing Stripes
White Noise
The Wedding Date
Robots
Monster-in-Law
Cinderella Man
The Perfect Man
The Man
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